Why Gratitude is Crucial for Your Marriage


“Then we sat on the edge of the earth, feet dangling over the side, and marvelled that we’d found each other” – Unknown

The LOVE experience cycles through many different phases. After the butterflies settle down, LOVE is said to be more of a verb than a feeling.  Going into marriage, LOVE needs to be a verb, or action, with each partner accepting 100% responsibility for making the marriage work and thrive. Today, we will discuss the important ingredient in any healthy marriage: a spirit of gratitude.

Count Your Joys

gratitudeWe all lead busy lives and often get caught up in the day to day challenges and negative thinking which can rob us of our joy. Awesome things are happening to you, all the time, every day, even in between all the bad and stressful things that happen. Yet, when explaining your day, you often come home and tell your husband about how someone cut you off in traffic, how terrible your coffee was, or how payroll stuffed up this week’s pay! It’s natural to gravitate towards negative thoughts because, of the 60,000 thoughts a day we have, 80% of them are negative. And what’s worse is that 80% of the thoughts we have each day are thoughts we’ve had before; meaning only 20% of them are new thoughts. So as human beings, we’re hard-wired to have automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and the same problems over and over.

Keeping a Gratitude Diary or Jar

Write down 3 awesome things that happened to you each day in your diary or place them into a glass jar. It may be as simple as: getting all the green lights when driving home from work, really enjoying the lunch you had today, or that your husband cooked you dinner. Be sure to include lots of things about your husband Gratitude makes sense of our pastwhat you’re grateful for because it will begin to cultivate appreciation in your relationship. And as much as we fall in love with Mr Perfect, we sometimes learn of his idiosyncrasies and faults in marriage that we were previously blind too. Rather than amplifying all of his flaws, instead amplify his strengths and attributes by writing these things down in your gratitude diary. Remember, your thoughts become your actions.

Note: Make a tradition at Christmas or New Years to look back on all of the good things that have happened to you by reading your gratitude diary or your gratitude jar. And, when times seem hopeless, these can help you remember WHY you love him. Believe me, you’ll feel loads of warm fuzzies.

Transformation Task

Start a gratitude diary or jar. Even invite your husband to contribute.

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